Sunday, July 21, 2013

Real Life Parenting Experiment - Day 1...The Farmer's Market

Here it is, day one of the Real Parenting experiment. My goal: To document our days as they actually happen, without sugar-coating, without lying through omission, without fakebooking. This is life, the good and the bad, or at least, as much of it as I can capture with pictures :) Today is Saturday. This is how life went down...

The day started with Phoenix pooping on the floor next to the bed. Here is our SpotBot at

Oh yeah, and she also peed on the bed. I threw a towel over it. Don't judge me. I don't own a dryer, and I am not washing sheets today.

Consequently, Phoenix spent the rest of the morning in the bathtub...just in case...
This was the kitchen I woke up to this morning, so yeah, "real" breakfast wasn't happening.
Since it was just after 6:00am, and I am not a morning person, the kids had ice cream for breakfast. Because, well, because at 6:00am I DGAF. That's why. Ruby is thrilled.

This is the expression that says, "Mom, I love you so much for this, I just might cry."

As you can see, she already has silver teeth, so the sugar won't be an issue.

Here she is...Miss America! Me in all my morning beauty! Yes, I know, I'm gorgeous. Don't hate.

Around 9:00am I did finally have it in me to conjure up some green juice. My day was looking up.

On our way to the Farmer's Market! My dashing hubby, looking so...dashing.

This was Leonidas's "ninja style"...not so bad so long as he's a ninja, he's happy.

Now, of course, I did not get ANY pictures of us at the Farmer's Market because my hands were full of bags, Brandon was off with the kids most of the time, and I really just wanted to get it over with. My kids at the Farmer's Market are not cute. They are insanity defined. There is no need for pictures...only escape with our lives.   

Here we are at Target. Daddy had to stop into work for a minute. Of course, we had to get them $1 toys.

They were singing throughout the store, a song Leonidas made up, that goes, "Doggies and kitty cats are always nice."

And the performance continued in the car...

At great length...

And continued into Grannyma's house for an encore.

It was at this time that we decided we were fed up with the doggy and kitty cat song, Leonidas was tired and hungry, and a breakdown ensued. He needed mum mums to cope.

Feeling much better with milk :)

Here is a tired mommy, feeding a tired four-year-old.

Ya know, just in case you've ever wondered what nursing a four-year-old looks it is. To most people in the world, this looks normal, but you know, we are in the U.S., and we're a little messed up over here, so...

After regrouping, the kids were happy playing on the floor with Grannyma.

And Grannyma was happy playing with them, too <3 br="">

Peek-a-boo! Phoenix is a cruisin' fool! This was the calm portion of the day. :)
And now it's time for a baby montage...

About this time, something tragic and dramatic must have happened to Ruby, because she fell on the floor in despair. I think she fell or something. I don't remember, because I"m an awesome mom like that. All I know is that she needed mum mums. Again. Like she does 4688406151 times a day.

So here's your token nursing-three-year-old photo.

And now it's time to feed the baby HFCS and Red40. Hooray for crunchy parenting hypocrisy!


So far, no major breakdowns at Grannyma's. Time to relax on the porch in a good ol' fashioned rockin' chair.

What's that? I'm not screaming and hurting things? What is this world coming to?!

I just don't feel like myself...
So, of course, on the way home he decided to use his new microphone as a weapon against his sister...repeatedly. Then daddy took it away while narrowly avoiding killing him, through sheer willpower and strength, and somehow managed to drive home with a screaming, flailing four-year-old in the back chant-screaming, "Iiiiii waaaannnnntttt itttttttt." This went on all the way home, at which time Daddy clocked out from toddlerville and took the baby, while mommy started her shift with a round of mum mums for all. It was a draining time for everyone involved. We recovered, eventually.

So here are the happy, oh-the-joys-of-a-lazy-blissful-life pictures. I promise you, they really do happen. Here's Ruby, checking out the morning glory vines climbing wistfully up our front porch.

The lovely baby-in-the-grass shot.

So beautiful.

Ruby's silly face :P

It's not much, but it started from seed, and I'm proud of my little growing flower garden. It's working its way across the porch.

Forget-me-nots and marigolds. The funny thing is, I actually DID forget that I planted forget-me-nots, and almost pulled them out thinking they were weeds.

Eating some clover. Yum.

Lovely zinnias...

And our first sunflower bloom! A happy for me :)

Our sunflowers are towering up to the roof of the house!

A bit of country charm for your day ;)

Out for a walk amid the weeds and flowers.

Corn a growin'

Okra, too!

And more basil than I can shake a stick at. Who wants some?

Ruby decided she wanted to water the garden all by herself.

"There," she said when she was done, "Now they are happy!"


Wild blackberries growing in the back yard.

Here is our messy, toy-riddled yard. With a visitor from under the house!

Leonidas calls this "his" kitty doesn't like like us, though, and actually bit him once.

Fortunately, it went back under the house before Leonidas came outside, because he would have chased it under there. A sigh of relief!

After a few minutes, I looked outside to see them happily playing in the pool, squirting each other with their "water squirters"...right next to the dry clothes on the clothesline...yeah...

After deciding i didn't care enough about life to be mad about the wet clothes, I made dinner with some fresh ingredients from our garden...garlic...

and basil...for pesto!
The rest of the day was a blur, since my shift usually ends around 6:00pm and it's just survival mode after that. Ruby went to bed before dinner, and Phoenix took a nap around the same time. I made dinner, the three of us left ate pork chops, I finally got tired of dealing with Leonidas and convinced him to go to bed, at which time I rejoiced considerably and felt 15 pounds lighter! So that's it. A normal day full of frustrations, with a good chunk of happy thrown in. No sugar-coating. No exaggerating. Just life, for a day. Let's see what the next day will bring...

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